Well, people using the road that goes past our apartment could tell you any of the following and it would be true -- for them: 1) It's a really long merge lane when you're turning onto the road. 2) I don't know, but it's sure not for getting out of the way of drivers in the other lanes when I'm turning! 3) It's for driving in for more than a mile! (This last one blew me away. "Gee, it must be some sort of express lane with those yellow lines on both sides and funny curved arrows!" Didja think maybe some equivalent moron might think the same thing and be coming AT you?)
Has anyone else noticed that not everyone understands what air quotes are? I guess I assumed it was a universal gesture, to put quotation marks around spoken words. I even have a Stormtrooper action figure that can do air quotes:
Yeah, I work for the [air quote] Emperor. Not much of an empire, if you ask me -- but hey, I can't complain. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for [air quote] Ol' Zappy. Can't say I like the new volunteer recruits, though -- those [air quote] gestites don't hold a candle to us clones. [fist pump] SEMPER VITRO!
(Back to Wog now):
I'm sick of repeatedly just missing making it through traffic signals. So, I have an addition to my "devices in the car" want list: a device similar to -- but not quite as powerful as -- an emergency traffic signal override device. I just want my device to transmit a signal that holds a yellow light on yellow if I am within 150 feet or so. Nothing so crazy as me switching every light to green for me. Just a little extension on those yellows so I can squeak through. That or a paintball gun and a license to shoot at the slow morons who keep me making it through those lights.
And the last morons I'd like to address tonight: the people who come into the store and want me to negotiate a discount/better price on furniture (usually a "damaged" floor model) with the manager. Why would I do that? You're interested in the stuff; you haggle! I'm not doing your dirty work for you so the store makes less money. I don't even get a commission, but what the hell kind of thinking is that?
Oh -- and you people who come in and want to buy store fixtures: no means no! You want me to come to your house and ask if I can buy the stairs and not take no for an answer?!?
2 comments:
Isn't retail fun. I noticed how people believe the strangest things when I worked at the liquor store. People would just pull different bottles of beer and put them together in a six pack! I realize this is acceptable in some stores, but they tend to have a section that you can pick from. We didn't. Ah well, maybe you just have to build a video game where people ask you stupid questions and you get to blow them away.
storm trooper quotes funny. a 'must' see.
Koelman
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