This also comes at a time when I have already been seriously considering withdrawing from the course altogether. Because I'm working 28-30 hours a week on top of the 25 hours of Chinese class, I just don't have the time to dedicate to studying that I need to keep up. I am, slowly but surely, falling behind in vocabulary and in character recognition for reading.
I am frustrated, in that I don't feel that I should let the new classroom situation be the "last straw," but I also feel that I don't really have any right to request a reshuffle, because I'm not in this training for my job like the others are; I'm just there to learn what I can.
Since I am not in class in an official capacity, I also feel that I should not be the cause of anyone being held back. My current classmates are clearly a few rungs above me, and with my current schedule I can't even keep up, let alone -catch- up.
Yes, I'm burned out. I've been perpetually tired since about November. But I'm torn: I'm getting totally free, intensive training that I feel I should take complete advantage of, yet I feel like I can't keep going like this. Perhaps it's too intense.
My non-objective complaints and concerns above make me think that I'm trying to justify quitting. I need to weigh objectively the pros and cons of staying or leaving.
STAYING
Pros:
- Learning more Chinese, improving communication skills for social and professional purposes.
- Participating in guided lessons from native speakers, including listening practice and grammar.
- Taking full advantage of this excellent, free learning opportunity.
- Persevering through extreme adversity (believe me, this -is- extreme adversity).
Cons:
- Struggling against other learners' styles that conflict with my own.
- Continuing this schedule of class and work, having little free time for social activities (even with my wife!) and remaining perpetually tired.
- Holding people back who learning Chinese for their career.
LEAVING
Pros:
- Regaining free time (or even more time to work, which means more income).
- Studying at my own pace.
Cons:
- Losing the interaction with the teachers.
- Feeling like I gave up too easily.
Well, there it is. It's clear that the benefits of staying for the relative short term (5 months left) would pay off in the long term (4 years in China with possible employment for which language skill would be a plus).
However, that whole personality conflict thing is HUGE. If I can't learn in class how I need to because someone is blurting things out and cruising along at a higher level so I can't follow, that seems worse than not attending class at all.
But on the other hand, I'd feel "cheated" somehow if someone else's learning style was the factor that forced me out.
Still, I feel that I don't have a full "share" or "vote" (being a spouse rather than an employee learning the language for their job) in saying I need to change classes -- mostly because if I do say something and they act on it, they will likely rearrange the entire section again. I don't want to mess up my wife's current class, since she just got out of the one I'm in and into one with much "better" classmates.
I don't think I can just "suck it up" and "deal with" the current classmates. It's that bad. But I don't think I can speak up and request that things be changed.
I really don't want to quit. I'll feel like, well, a quitter. Like I haven't stayed through to the end, since it is such an excellent opportunity.
That said, since I've begun to fall behind already, maybe I have already gotten as much as I can expect to get out of this course. Maybe the next step is for me to take over studying at my own pace.
I don't know. I just don't.
Any thoughts?
6 comments:
You will have regret looking you in the face for 4 years while you're in China. It's a tough choice, and it sounds like the only possible solution is to go to the other class. It's no surprise you're having trouble keeping up...seems like you're the only one working a full time job on the side.
Don't feel guilty about it...getting into the other class is your only feasible option for continuing to learn Chinese.
I spent about two weeks in an advanced spanish class, skipping a whole grade, and grew increasingly freaked out as I learned nothing each and every day while watching everyone else coast through what seemingly was review. I doubt you'll be able to catch up. It's no statement at all about intelligence...you just can't maintain the same learning pace as everyone else.
that's my advice, albeit with incomplete information. good luck, pal.
svb
Yeah, maybe you can just request that you get switched? It's at least worth a try...
Not knowing your financial status or how flexible your job might be, I wonder if it would be at all possible for the two of you to tighten the belt any more on spending for the next few months so you could cut back on hours at the store?
Or, is there any way, if you went in and talked to whoever arranges these things and explained your position, they might be willing to make an exception on class size limits for you so you could continue learning without them having to restructure the whole deal?
Boo. I mean, I'm glad The Mixologist is out of the evil class, but it sucks that you got thrown in there when there's already so much on your plate.
I think you should go in and tell the cooridinator that you need a new class. "just" because you are a spouse doesn't mean you don't have a say. And, while you're in there, tell them to put you in a class with 4 people since you often have trouble making it in in the mornings. All the teachers understand and NO ONE, including the teachers, thinks you are falling behind. You have so much natural talent....
The only thing I could add is... Can we get the teacher to talk to the person who blurts out the answers??? When has someone leaping on other people's chance to to answer something been OK? Maybe they are general class questions but then I'd say speak up and ask the teacher to repeat it because you didn't get. You don't have to totally consider the feelings of people that clearly aren't considering yours.
Completely unrelated to the topic but must be shared.
Star Wars collection
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