6-month Post-Placement Report

We had our official 6-month post-placement meeting a few weeks ago so the social worker could get a sense of how things were going for us and the boys.  All went well; I assume her report will be positive.

And here is *my* 6-month post-placement report:

Just over 6 months ago, we picked up Rory and Thomas in Kunming.  We all got along well from the start, and found a regular routine that seems to work well.  The boys have come a long way since May 9, going from being near-potted plants (silently sitting where you place them) to babbling, walking (albeit unsteadily) toddlers.

Every day we're growing more and more attached, but sometimes I still feel like we're just doing super-extended babysitting.  I don't know if that comes from the fact that they're adopted, or that they are biologically Chinese, or a combination -- or if it's simply because we're still only 6-month-old parents.  Don't get me wrong -- I love them dearly, but sometimes it just doesn't feel like they're my kids.

I'm still getting used to the whole parenting lifestyle; it has been hard to adjust.  I was very much accustomed to having lots of "me" time and some "me and the wife" time (the latter at least on the weekends), which has changed drastically.  Further, thirty-five years of being a night person means it doesn't matter how much sleep I got; anything before 9 a.m. always has been and always will be rough.  I find myself trying to cram more "non-kids" time in after they are in bed, but the late nights then make the mornings that much more painful.

Honestly, I think people tell soon-to-be or new parents that "parenting is awesome" or "having kids is the best thing ever" just to keep their spirits up a little longer.

I really think the disparity between the kids' age (17 months) and our age as parents (6 months) is the biggest factor for my fatigue.  I mean: a person who has been a parent for 6 months normally has a 6-month-old child.  Both the parent and the child are learning and adapting together.  That 6-month-old child is doing 6-month-old things -- not 17-month-old things.  That parent still has 11 months to ease into the 17-month-old things.  We had a crash course and jumped in at Day 346 with Day 0-level parenting experience.

Either that, or I'm just too selfish to be a good parent.  I miss spending hours of my day on World of Warcraft et al.  Again, don't get me wrong -- it's cool to see the boys figure out a new toy, or make a new animal sound, or whatever new thing they do (unless it's naughty).  But so far, the effort invested far outweighs the return.  It's pretty clear by now that I'm an instant gratification type, and the boys just aren't delivering the kind of results that management wants to see.

Please, before you gasp and brand me an unfit parent, just pause and consider that my parenting brain is only 6 months old, fighting a battle of wills against my 429-month-old non-parenting brain.  Which means it's probably only a matter of months until the 1-year-old brain defeats the 35-year-old one.

When the boys start making Star Wars sound effects, that should tip the scale.