Past Prime

It may well be the series of disappointments and setbacks we've experienced here in Beijing that are distorting my judgment, but I'm really beginning to feel like our best days are behind us. I suppose everyone waxes nostalgic when times take a turn for the worse.

The college years: Awesome. Little real responsibility, with heavy emphasis on social events (whether it be a quick game of Magic, a night at the bar, or a trek out of Morris).

Right after college: Excellent: newly married; getting started on careers; living in the Twin Cities area with lots of friends nearby.

Joining the Foreign Service & Seoul: Exciting life changes. Venturing into unfamiliar territory; living in a truly foreign culture; contributing to a diplomatic mission overseas. Made great friends, both Korean and American. If it weren't for having to leave best friends and family behind, I daresay this may have been our "golden age."

The return from Seoul: What I view as the start of the decline. D-What is assigned a dead-end position in Washington. My father dies. Few friends in the area. Toiling away at Chinese language training. D-What's father dies. Realization that, given family medical history, I've probably lived half of my life. But, hope for a "silver age" in China – after all, the first tour overseas was fun, why not this one?

Beijing, years 1-2: The Dark Age. A rocky start, and downhill ever since. A small circle of people I would call acquaintances rather than friends. A dispassionate diplomatic mission/community to which I never felt welcomed or connected (and therefore not motivated to contribute, aside from desiring a paycheck). General malaise about the local culture and living conditions.

Yes, there have been high points since coming to Beijing, but not enough to counteract the lows, and most of the highs involve getting away (whether that means away from the embassy because friends are visiting, or away from Beijing – or China – entirely).

That said, I remain optimistic that our Seoul experience was more representative of overseas posts than this one is. More and more, I get the sense that it's the other way around, but there's only one way to find out: stay the course and see what the next assignment holds. If it turns out to be another Beijing, I'll be throwing in the towel.